This morning while I was driving into work I was thinking about a lunch I am going to with an ex co-worker tomorrow. This led me to thinking about the job I used to have, the manager at that job, the owner and the organization as a whole. Now that I am almost a year out of that position I have the luxury of hindsight and I think I have a grasp on what was inherently wrong with that workplace.
Then I remembered a conversation my husband and I recently had about the book, The Secret. We both believe that books like this, and others in the workplace-improvement genre, are mostly over simplified, dumbed and watered down messages to the masses. No, I haven’t read them all…but I have read quite a few: Who Moved My Cheese, Fish, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, a couple more that escape me at the moment. Not because I wanted to but because many a frustrated, confused, stressed out and/or well-meaning manager has required that all of their employees, including me, read them.
I usually reach the last page feeling insulted and underwhelmed. These type of books generally prize motivation, hard work and positive thinking as the cure to all that ails corporate America. The problem is that this is just plain WRONG!
I’m not saying that positive thinking isn’t powerful. It is! I wholeheartedly believe in the power of positive thinking/meditation/prayer. I think it can change attitudes, emotions, physical health, personal relationships, lower stress levels, create a sense of inner calm and enlightenment. What it can’t do is fix the organization you work for and since we spend nearly 50% of our waking life at work, this effects a great deal of our lives!
So, what exactly is the issue? Is the answer just not that simple? Are we naive to think that the solution to such a complex and intrinsic problem can be simplified down into one concept, one catch phrase, one book?
No, the answer is simple, in fact it is one word! It’s something that is hammered into us by our parents and teachers from the time we are small children and yet it is the hardest thing in the world to get an adult in today’s corporate culture to truly grasp and exercise….RESPECT!
That’s it. Respect.
That is what we need to fix 99% of the problems in our relationships, our homes, our communities, our workplaces and our government!
Sure, we have respect for each other in small doses: our loved ones, our mentors, our elders (in some cases), our kids (I hope!). And we have tackled some of the larger instances where lack of respect is felt at a community level with the fights against: Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, etc. We have seen this issue time and time again with everything from the bullying of homosexual teens to the recent election’s attack ads.
However, we are still lacking that day-to-day, one on one, colleague-to-colleague respect. Robert W. Fuller calls it “rankism” in his book All Rise: Somebodies, Nobodies, and the Politics of Dignity. I had the pleasure of listening to Mr. Fuller speak a few years ago and I was struck by the simplicity and complexity of the issue he was trying to tackle.
With rankism he is trying to open our eyes to the fact that this is an “ism” that we are all guilty of on a regular basis and it has a ripple effect. When our manager scolds us, out of a feeling of superiority or simply the joy of bullying another, that makes us angry and frustrated. We then turn to our co-worker and chew them out for something that could have easily been handled with calm and compassion, but because we were made to feel small and powerless we act out our anger on them.
Then our co-worker takes that anger, frustration and shame home with him or her and takes it out on their spouse, and so on. Fuller went on to explain that some of the most successful and profitable companies in America are built on this very concept. Companies like Starbucks, Google and Apple treat their employees with respect first and foremost. This has lead to happier, less stressed, more productive and innovative employees.
The difficulty is the fact that this simple and successful solution only works when it comes from the top. The very top. It has to start with the CEOs, the CIOs, the Presidents, the senior managers, the principles, the doctors, the administrators, the teachers and the parents. When the people at “the top” start treating each other and their employees with respect (genuine respect), it has a ripple effect that spreads through out the entire “organization”.
If you are a leader, manager, community organizer, government official, teacher, parent, etc. don’t waste your money on jargon-filled books, pointless presentations, stupidly insulting videos or the like. Just tell your employees, “I’m sorry if I haven’t treated you with the utmost respect in the past. I want you to know how valuable you and your ideas are to this organization. I am going to change my ways and I need your help to do that.” If you mean it, if you live it, you will see the change you have been searching for!
Douglas Adams joked that the world was a computer searching for the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything and that the answer was 42!
He was close, it’s respect!
